During this adjustment period after being laid off, I’ve been feeling pretty distracted every day. A friend told me I care too much about the value my job brings me and what the people around me think of me. He said that even if I weren’t unemployed now, I’d still face this issue once I turn 30.
A friend suggested I try to find value beyond my job. He noticed that, right after I was laid off, I was fixated on why my former company had let me go instead of another colleague. Although my manager later assured me that my performance was satisfactory, that colleague had been with the company a year longer, had more experience, and was more familiar with the business operations. Additionally, the department’s operations had been scaled back, making the decision to lay off staff unavoidable.
But I still can’t help but wonder if my introverted personality influenced my boss’s decision this time. And even though he told me I worry too much about things that haven’t happened yet—like the fear of not finding a job or taking a break from work—my mind has been consumed by anxiety this whole time.
Later, I talked with a friend about the “Nameless Travelers” from *Honkai: Star Rail*, a game I used to love playing. I said I envied their carefree lifestyle—not having to work and traveling across the galaxy—but my friend told me I could actually be just like them, though I didn’t dare. He knew that even if I didn’t work, my family had the financial means to support me.
I’m afraid of having a gap in my work history, and I’m afraid of facing my family. I feel that in this day and age, only by having a legitimate job can I be the person others expect me to be. Under societal pressure, I don’t dare to think about what kind of person I truly want to be—not to mention that even the nameless adventurer in the game has to face unresolved issues with every adventure, and I’m just not mentally prepared for that. Yeah, I’ve been wondering if I’ve placed too many restrictions on myself.
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