Hello, my dearest friend:
I just found out that you were laid off and are now unemployed. I know you’ve been losing sleep over what your relatives, friends, and family think, feeling anxious as you scroll through social media posts about people struggling to find jobs, and worried about being labeled as “unemployed.” I just want to tell you: you’ve been through a lot.
Humans are social creatures, and this helps us better adapt and survive. On the other hand, within any group—whether it’s your workplace, your family, or your social circle—people are inevitably labeled and judged in various ways. However, I believe these labels are either innate or arise from circumstances beyond your control—they are not something you can influence or change. This is especially true in today’s chaotic and hyper-competitive era, where layoffs have become all too common. It’s just that your relatives and elders may not be able to think about or consider this issue from the perspective of their own generation.
So I think labels and other people’s opinions are meaningless; they only serve to make those who judge you feel superior. They aren’t responsible for your life—and, worse yet, they’ll probably just make your life more difficult.
When you’re laid off and out of work, try not to pay too much attention to what others think—including friends and parents. They’re likely feeling a lot of anxiety and confusion, and they might pass those emotions on to you. So please try to stay calm. In the end, you’re the one who has to walk this path—not anyone else. Think from your own perspective about what you want and what kind of future you envision, rather than letting others dictate the course of your life.
I understand that fighting against a fate you can’t control is exhausting, so please forgive yourself and take good care of yourself. Humans are naturally afraid of the unknown, but if you can overcome your genetic “fight-or-flight” instinct and rise above what others think of you, you’ll live a better life.
At the same time, you told me last time that this period of unemployment has made you realize some things you hadn’t fully noticed before—especially that you didn’t anticipate the challenges of the job market and hadn’t honed your skills more thoroughly. When we delved deepest into this, I saw what you fear most deep down: the pain stemming from your family of origin and your parents’ lack of understanding and and lack of awareness—which led to relationship patterns that terrify you. You mentioned to me how, over the first 20 years of your life, you distanced yourself from your family of origin by continuously pursuing higher education and staying in the city you loved, living an independent life with friends who made you feel secure. But now you’re afraid that, after losing your job, you’ll regress back to that home that terrifies you. And losing the friendships you’ve built in this city.
I want to say that past problems are in the past. I’m glad that the past has helped you recognize your current shortcomings. The best time to plant a tree was ten years ago; the next best time is now.
People always gain experience and grow through their experiences. Of course, your fear of your family of origin may not be something you can resolve right away, but you won’t retreat back to your family of origin just because you’re temporarily unemployed. You need to understand that things will always turn out for the better.
Sincerely,
Salute!
The self that has always been by your side
